I was talking to someone the other day about jobs. This person was telling me how they have been job searching, found a job they love, and just got the call that they didn’t get it. They were very upset, I could tell just by looking at them. I mean, who wouldn’t be?
We talked for a bit and it really, I mean really, hit some emotional spot inside of me where I felt the need to write about it. I actually ended up telling them that they just fully inspired me to write a blog post about denial.
I feel like it’s very much UNDER-discussed, when in reality.. it’s fucking huge.
& I don’t mean huge as like, it happens all the time. Sure, it does. But what I mean is that it’s a huge part of life. Of all of our lives.
And guess what? We love to deny denial. Think about it. We don’t tell people, we don’t talk about it, we deny it.
I find this really astonishing. I get it. I actually TOTALLY get it. Believe me. I’ve been denied before. I’m not sitting here writing about it to be dilly-dallying and twirling my ponytail while I chat with people who are going through it and pretending life is perfect over here. NO. That’s not what Champagne In Church is. This is real & raw shit here. I don’t do BS. So, if you’re looking for that, you’ve come to the wrong place. Sorry.
Anyway.. that person and I started talking about how when you’re denied (whether it’s a job, relationship, school, anything.. really), you feel like you’re the ONLY person in the world going through it. I mean, isn’t that so true?
And just because you were denied by ONE thing.. it seems as if EVERYTHING is wrong now. Nothing is right. NOTHING.
I can relate to this big time. I’m sure a lot of you can, too?
I personally feel like a lot of this can relate to social media. Like, the part where we deny denial. Don’t get me wrong, I love being able to interact with friends, family, and YOU. My readers. It’s a HUGE part of this blog. How else would I be able to share things with you guys? You know?
I just feel like.. you see the best part of people’s lives on social media.. & that’s it.
I’ll be the example here. Real & raw, right? I have the platform to be able to write about real life shit, so I’m going to take advantage of that.
I went through a break up a few years ago. A pretty bad one to say the least. I was a wreck, basically. We all go through it, I think? I would cry, and cry, and cry…
For a long ass time. It was a really shitty time in my life. It could have been worse, but at that very moment.. it sure as hell didn’t feel like it could.
Honestly the fact that I wasn’t dehydrated from crying is beyond me..
I got denied – bad. Not like “oh I don’t like you” type of denied. But a relationship gone completely wrong type of denied. Being ignored, let down, etc. Denied, in numerous ways. It happens, it’s a part of life.
Anyway, the relationship isn’t the point of this post. The point is you would have never known by my social media. ACTUALLY, you would have thought I was HAPPY.
Ya.. no lie. I would only post the things that made it look like I was having the time of my life. You know, whipping my hair in the wind on some random nice boat owned by a friend of a friend of another friend that I found a way to get myself on. Then came the meltdown with a bag of dorito’s being shoved down my throat. That part was left out.
Snap it. Capture it. Post it. Meltdown. Repeat.
I was completely, full on, denying my denial.
And don’t get me wrong, I don’t expect people to go post themselves crying. & not everyone who is on a nice boat is faking the hair flips. That’s not what I’m getting at. I’m just telling you what I think a lot of people go through and don’t talk about.
I didn’t want to tell people. Why would I? It felt.. embarrassing.
Little did I know back then, it was the best thing for me.
It shaped me into who I am right now. Every piece of being denied made me realize things about myself that I never would have if I didn’t get denied.
For example: I learned that people will fucking tear you down and watch you continue to fall & sometimes, you need to fight for yourself. You need to do what’s best for you.
Cliche? I know. A lot of things I’m saying in this post sound cliche – but it’s because they are true. You have to get back up. Stop denying denial.
It doesn’t even have to do with just relationships.. think about the job situation. You’re denied a job that you really, realllllly wanted. You can’t help but question yourself.
Denial is huge. It’s what makes us GROW. It isn’t embarrassing that you got denied a job, or from a college you wanted to go to, or from a person you wanted to date.
Embarrassing is so completely wrong. It’s life.
I am a true believer in things happening for a reason. I know a lot of people aren’t – but let me explain my brain to you.
I believe, fully, that things are going wrong because you are NOT supposed to be doing it. I was NOT supposed to be in that relationship. It taught me how to handle being on my own and taking a fucking hit for once instead of being handed everything. Maybe you are NOT supposed to be working at that amazing, high profile company you applied for. Maybe you aren’t ready.
AND THAT’S OK.
Maybe you have more to learn which will lead you to something better.
Think about this. YA, I’m putting your brain to work today. Do you think that the biggest, most influential people out there haven’t been denied? If you do think that – you’re wrong. I hate to say that, but you’re so wrong.
I’ll leave it at this: just google Walt Disney & rejection. He was fired due to ‘lack of imagination’..
WALT DISNEY. Mickey Mouse. HELLO!?
Well, SHIT. He sure as hell grew from that, huh?
If you have gotten denied lately, take it in. Seriously. Breathe that shit in right now. You’re about to get a lottttt stronger.
How do you guys handle it? Please do tell.
talk tomorrow, x krissy
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